I’ve had a rough go of things with the wedding planning these last couple of weeks. In one day, I was outbid on a very important eBay auction for supplies for making the boutonnieres, I missed Ann Wood’s new bird listings, and I lost the photographer I was hoping to snag for the big day. The next day, I found out that my wedding dress will be six weeks later than Gabrielle originally estimated. Since then, I’ve had some bridesmaid woes, a couple of disappointing vendor meetings, and a few prospective vendors who won’t get back to me.

But some amazing things have happened too, and I can’t let myself forget.

I visited our venue and took measurements so I can start on the floorplans.

Rebecca and I went bridesmaid dress shopping in downtown Portland, and I not only got to try on lucious Jenny Yoo at the English Dept., I received such good customer service that I can almost completely block out my horrid San Francisco experience. (Don’t let the cute logo fool you… Maybe I was just shockingly unlucky, but the salesgirls were disinterested to the point where it was like I was interrupting them, despite the fact that I had an appointment.)

I found an amazing array of vintage glass bottles for the reception tables. (More to follow on that…)

A few little pieces of my wardrobe fell into place, like the robe I’ll wear during hair and makeup.

And Anne Ruthmann was able to refer me to the insanely talented, and conveniently local, Jessica Hill.

I’m the master of letting the negative things overwhelm me, but I just wanted to take a moment to encourage other brides (and remind myself!) that it truly does all come together.

(P.S. If you ever want to buy paper goods from the nicest people in the whole world, check out Yellow Owl Workshop.)

Sixteen. That’s how many venues we’ve visited this month. Seven in California, nine in Oregon. Add the thirty or so other venues that I corresponded with and didn’t visit and you have a sure-fire recipe for venue overload. But even still, I get excited when I think that somewhere amidst these candidates is our venue.

I think I’ve ruled out the Northern California beach for my April 17 evening wedding. Honestly, that sentence alone explains it. I’ll probably go back on that statement a million times, but it feels like this decision has happened in little pieces from the beginning.

First, there’s the prohibitive cost of having a wedding anywhere in a 200 mile radius of the Bay. Or even further — Santa Barbara, Ventura, it’s all a bit absurd. Even looking at venues that aren’t at the coast, it doesn’t make much of a difference. At least non-coastal venues are more flexible with building your own reception packages, but when their site fees are $5,000 and up, there’s just no way. I am simply not willing to spend that much on a space for four hours, regardless of where or what it is. I’m a bride on a budget. I want a beautiful, meticulously planned event, but I want to put our limited funds where I think they’ll make the biggest impact. I’d much rather rent an inexpensive building and beautify it than spend a fortune on the space and then not be able to afford a single candle or centerpiece.

Second, there’s the timing issue. I want an evening wedding, always have. The lighting is beautiful that time of day, and then the reception lends itself well to twinkle lights and candles and Chinese paper lanterns and all the things I love. Well, every single venue I talked to last weekend (and I mean EVERY one) told me that I’m absolutely out of my mind if I think I can have an evening wedding outside in Pacific Grove or Monterey. The wind starts to pick up around 3 at the very latest. Most outdoor beach weddings are best slated for 1 p.m., they say. They told me that I really need to decide which is more important: beach or time of day. If it’s the beach, aim for 1 p.m. If it’s time of day, have it up in the Carmel Valley hills where you’re further from the water. And all of that is aside from the fact that an evening wedding implies heartier food than I’m serving (or, more specifically, can afford to serve). Dinnerless weddings really ought to end before 5 p.m. or start after 7 p.m.

Third, the beach is probably not as magical as one would imagine. I think of the beach and I think of some lovely, lovely photos from AS Photography and the beautiful colors of the ocean up here — it really is unique to this area and so pretty. But there’s everything else that comes along with it. If it has rained in the 72 hours before the ceremony, I’m likely to get dirt on my shoes and, even worse, the Beautiful Dress. Wavy hair loves to frizz near the ocean. I have to have an inclement weather alternate, and I don’t even thoroughly understand how that works… Do I buy and plan decorations for a venue that I may not even use? And some places charge the full price even if you don’t end up using the venue. People can never hear the officiant or the bride & groom at larger outdoor ceremonies. When we were in Pacific Grove this last time, there were tons of people standing around leering at the ceremony. I would not appreciate that. (Of course, so were we, but we were as far away as possible just taking photos of the area and then making our exit.) Lots of variables completely outside of our control, and that’s always nerve wracking. Maybe outdoor beach wedding at noon in August… But other than that, it’s a gamble.

Fourth — and this is what really tipped me off that maybe the beach isn’t for me — is that nearly all of the photos in my inspiration folder were taken at indoor weddings or receptions. There are the AS Photography ones, which are just stunning and nearly all of them are outdoor, but most of the outdoor photos I’ve seen are not particularly impressive — because of the very things I mentioned before, unpredictable lighting, wind, and so on and so forth.

Undoubtedly, I’ll wake up tomorrow and immediately regret ever having ruled out the beach. But at least for tonight, it’s off the table.

I wondered if 15 miles was too great of a distance between wedding and reception sites until I started reading online about people who made their guests caravan 60 miles through the countryside or to opposite ends of a huge city at 5 o’clock. Reception sites in Monterey and Pacific Grove are hardly numerous, so if we decide to get married there, we may have to consider venues like this one, in Carmel Valley, for the reception.